God's Comfort For Our Father Wounds

“The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18 (NIV)

My relationship with my father always seemed to be a work in progress, but I was still excited to see him.

Whenever my little family of four took a road trip to my home state, spending time with my father was always on the itinerary. With each visit, I had high hopes that we would grow closer, know one another better, and build the father-daughter relationship I longed for.

On one visit in the heat of summer, I wore my natural hair in an afro puff. This was my summer go-to style: a quick solution for my tightly coiled strands in the Texas humidity. I thought I was looking good until my father, oblivious to the impact of his words, said, “When are you going to get your hair done?”

I had so many internal responses swirling around in my brain. What? Why is my hair important? I’ve traveled more than 800 miles to spend time with you, and you’re concerned about my hair!

It wasn’t just the words he said but the words I had never heard him say that magnified the moment. I was a 30-something-year-old woman, and there were things he had never said to me:

“You are beautiful.”
“You are special.”
“You are loved.”

That day, his words were a reminder of the chasm that existed between us. He did not understand me, nor did I understand him. We were like strangers meeting for the first time. His words exasperated the reality that I had father wounds, and my heart was broken all over again.

What do we do when our hearts are damaged in the same place, by the same person, multiple times? How are we supposed to heal? Whereas curling up in the fetal position and licking our wounds may sound like a good idea, I’m grateful God has provided encouragement we can glean from the pages of Scripture.