Learning To Sit and Remain
On Silent Saturday, Jesus was dead and buried. The finality of this moment must have overwhelmed the disciples. They were sandwiched between the intensity of Jesus’ death and the doubt of His resurrection. Everything was silent and still, and they were likely unsure what to do next. This moment reminds me of an experience I had with silence.
“Your assignment is to ask God what He wants you to know and then write it down.” This was the homework from my therapist. She wanted me to sit in silence with a pen and paper until God responded.
What?
I was uneasy immediately. Usually, I did all the talking when I spent time in prayer. Not to mention that I’ve never been the most patient person in the world. Exactly how long was I supposed to stay on my knees waiting for Him to speak?
Despite my apprehension, I obliged her request. Initially, I was able to tolerate the stillness for about five minutes. The next time, I fell asleep on the floor. The third attempt was met with more sitting, restlessness and silence. Day after day I sat, questioning whether the thoughts in my head were from me or the Holy Spirit.
I wanted this exercise to be quick — something I could check off my to-do list. But this task was not to be rushed. It required me to sit and remain.
